Starting school for the first time or going back after a summer break can be a stressful and challenging time for both parents and children. Marks & Spencer has teamed up with Consultant Psychiatrist Raj Persaud to offer some helpful tips and advice to make it as stress free as possible.
For children who are beginning nursery, primary or secondary school for the first time there's the challenge of a totally new environment. Even those returning to the same school they left at the start of summer, there may be new teachers, new classmates, new work, and new expectations to worry about. There's also the not-so-simple matter of learning to sit still and concentrate after weeks of freedom with no fixed timetable.
Raj recommends slowly weaning your children from summertime's relaxed schedules during the last few days of the holiday. Gradually move towards the bedtimes of term-time, and get them used to setting the alarm-clock for the time they are going to need to get up for school. Start towards the end of the holiday period re-establishing that vital breakfast routine that gets them up and out with all that they need to face the day.
Before the holiday finishes reserve blocks of time at the end of each day for reading; this helps prepare children for the discipline of doing their homework in the evenings. You need to gradually prepare them for the drill of the regular schedule that is just around the corner when school starts, a soft introduction to this will reduce the shock when they start school.
Parents often forget how stressful it is for children to return to school at the end of a long summer. It's useful to do an imagination exercise to help put themselves in the shoes of their children: Imagine how it would feel to change jobs every 12 months - just as you were starting to at last feel competent at what you were doing. Imagine having a new boss, new colleagues and new obligations - just as you were getting used to the old ones. Now, imagine you were only six, 11, or even 14. THAT'S what it feels like to go back to school!
Your child is probably more nervous about going back to school than they are letting on, that's normal, and should be expected and treated as such. You may want to take the opportunity to recall with them your own school first day back disasters such as wearing the wrong clothes, or getting lost. Children find stories like these very reassuring - after all, you survived these horrors and can even joke about them now. They also illustrate your ability to understand the fears that are worrying your child.
Make a point of visiting the school in late summer to take a look at the child's new classroom and perhaps even meet the teacher. Parents and children can then both become familiar with new buildings and faces; for children an early visit reduces first-day anxieties.
Ensure your child has all the supplies they need to begin school, Marks & Spencer is the perfect one-stop-shop for all back to school items including schoolwear, books, educational toys and nutritional lunches and snacks. Check their schoolbag is packed, and if needs be, a packed lunch is made the night before. Requirements change as children get older, younger children may need a pencil-case and a new box of crayons and as students move into higher grades, a particular type of calculator might be needed for a maths class. Pay attention to bulletins sent from school requesting specific materials.
Regardless of whatever planning and preparation parents may do, the first day of school can be terrifying for some children - especially those with little previous experience of schools or day-care. Parents of very young children can sometimes be tempted to loiter near the classroom when their children seem upset on their first day of school but this is usually a bad idea. Children whose parents stay in the classroom tend to cry most of the day, while children whose parents simply drop them off fare better in the long run.
A little weepiness is normal for young children during the first days at school, and it usually subsides after a few minutes. Parents shouldn't let the tears fool them into thinking something is seriously wrong. Parents need to understand that often this not about school; it is about leaving home.
For a small minority of children resistance to going to school can reflect deeper problems, such as bullying perhaps, that the child has been too afraid to talk about. Parents should have cause for concern when their child regularly feels sick from tension, 'plays sick' or wishes to stay home from school with minor physical complaints and this would be a good time to probe gently for possible issues like bullying.
Often these periods of fearfulness also follow a stressful event at home, such as a move, a divorce, or the loss of a loved one or pet. The potential long-term effects for a child who has persistent fears and does not seek professional assistance are serious, as the child may develop significant educational or social problems if away from school or friends for an extended period. The advice and assistance of a specialist like an educational psychologist should be sought through the school, or the child's GP, if these symptoms persist for weeks after the first day back at school.
-Ends-
NOTES FOR EDITORS:
- Dr Raj Persaud is a consultant psychiatrist working in the British National Health Service at the world famous Maudsley Hospital in south London and an honorary senior lecturer at the Institute of Psychiatry, University of London.
- Raj Persaud is the author of Staying Sane and his latest book, From The Edge of the Couch, is out now on Bantam. His work has been published in academic medical journals, including the British Medical Journal, the Lancet and the British Journal of Psychiatry. He writes regularly for the national press. He also hosts BBC Radio 4's All in the Mind - the only broadcast series dedicated specifically to reporting on academic psychology and psychiatry - and appears regularly on television programmes such as Question Time, Newsnight, This Morning and Tomorrow's World.
For further information please contact:
Michelle Stern Tel 020 7268 1919
Back to press releases index
Back to top